Storm under cover

I saw a storm behind the clouds the other night. It looked like a light show. There were purples and pinks and blues and whites. And they would flash in different places all over the sky. It was beautiful. I could tell by the thunder and bursts of light, that behind the clouds, the storm was raging! But from my point of view it was amazing. My thought was:

all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

I wonder if from Gods point of view my life looks like that storm. This past year has been a real eye opener to say the least. The tempest was fierce! Everything that could be exposed -was, everything that could be shaken -was, everything that could break inside of a person-did in me. My life as I knew it was falling apart. My Marriage, family, friendships, ministry, everything! I never knew a person could hurt like that. I never knew a person could be completely emptied of everything they had, and everything they stood for, be completely broken, and still survive. There is only one way, Jesus. So as I clung to him he took me by the hand. He showed me where I was right, He showed me where I was wrong, and He showed me, it was time to quit pretending everything was o.k. and start living in reality.

The truth is- there are times when things are absolutely not ok. And that is ok as long as I am honest about it. I was not given “permission” to be honest in that way. I was told when we first started in ministry that basically, a family in ministry has to appear to be perfect at all times. They have to stay close to only each other. They can’t have friends outside of each other because people won’t respect the authority that they (as ministers) carry. That people would not receive us if they knew we didn’t have “everything together”. I was warned to not let anyone get too close. So to this- I say a healthy, hearty, THAT'S CRAP!

That is a false life! God is about relationship. To live under those conditions would be to reject relationships and deny God to really work in and through us. My marriage is not “perfect” in the way that we were pretending it to be, but now, it is perfect for us. We still fight, we still argue, but we don’t hide things, even when it hurts. That has opened doors to a whole new relationship that we never knew could be accessible on this earth. It has revealed a whole new love that is strong and unshakable and has united us as one - the way God meant it to be. My family is not “perfect”…but it’s mine. We like scary movies and trick or treating, we make fart jokes, we point and laugh at each other, and we live like normal people. The ministry is not “perfect”. We acknowledge the fact that we are broken people. We acknowledge the fact that we NEED God and we NEED each other. We are the hurting, the sinners, the throwaways, the successes, the unacceptable and the accepted. We are not perfect people. Just people who love the Lord. In our imperfection, God has promoted us and is moving us into a new season of life as ministers together. Not to live life behind closed doors, but to live life loud under His covering. And so the storms can rage, but under His covering it is not dangerous. It is a beautiful display of lights. His light, under His cover, amidst an epidemic of unpredictable, looking magnificent! That is my life!
I have beauty for ashes, Blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair, and we have been promoted and are being planted like an oak for the glory of God!