tween years take 2

It’s been almost a year since I’ve moved into this house and a little over two since we’ve made the trek from Colorado to Casper WY. It’s much different here than it was back in CO. Where I used to live it was a simple 30 min drive into downtown Denver. Everything ran on a multilevel scale. From malls to restaurants to local churches it was all level upon level of grand. And then one full uhaul and four hours later it was all just a picture in a rearview mirror.  Life as I knew it was going to change in a big way. My rearview just didn’t tell me how big.

I think one of the things I struggle with most is that I’m not from here. I didn’t grow up here. So when someone says “the old” when referring to a location. Or a place isn’t listed you are just supposed to know where it is, I have a hard time with that. Also, Casper being a smaller town, when you aren’t born and raised here it’s easy to miss out on the inside jokes. Especially if you feel like you are the joke.

There are some things that have come to my attention recently. So what makes me so “thinky” is this. Where I come from intellect is thought highly of, even to the fault of being worshipped. People trust their instinct and they trust their intellect. People are free thinkers where I came from and would argue your thought just to argue. The only plus of that is people formed their own opinion and thought for themselves. So, if someone told me one thing about another person I would trust my personal experience with said thing. That seems to be not how it works here, or maybe just not how it is working in this situation. Maybe I am blowing it way out of proportion, but this is my place to be exposed so here it is. If it were me I would trust my own thoughts, my own experience, my own knowledge and contact with said situation. It seems there have been rumors or thoughts that have been shared with others that question my integrity. The thing is that if these people would have trusted their own experience with me rather than join the rumor mill they would have figured out that whatever was shared is a big lie. It’s a sabotage to my character it’s hateful and hurtful to me. 

I know I’m not where I used to be. I have grown so much this past couple of years. I think if I moved back to CO I wouldn’t fit in there. I have too much Casper in me already. But sometimes I feel l don’t have enough Casper to fit in here. It’s like I’m a tween again. Too old and outgrown for where I was but not quite to the place where I am going to go to fit in where I am at.

So what to do? Well today I had a Hart of Dixie a thon. And I have also caught up of Glee. These are my fall back happy movies to pull me out of the dumpy attitude days, and then I got to thinking about what I shared last night at youth. How to turn a crappiest day from all of craptown into a good day. I think I need to follow my own advice, actually it’s not mine its Gods. Get this, it’s like he knew one day I might be feeling a little out of place and so he told me something that if I do, I will turn my day around. Check this out from

Philippians Chapter 4
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Ok so focus on what is true. Well, what is true? Or what is truth? What does God say about me? He calls me victorious, He calls me a conquerer,He calls me beautiful, he calls me friend, He loves me. That is true. And what HE says about me is more important than what anyone else says about me. WOW already I’m in a better mood

And if that weren’t all... what is pure and lovely, It snowed recently and the backyard was covered in this gorgeous white blanket of snow that just sparkled, It was gorgeous! I have the most amazing husband and kids ever. They love me so wonderfully, pure and beautiful! LOVE I am surrounded by love

And think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. God has moved us from a place in CO.  to a place here. GOD has moved us. Not WE have moved us. The rearview mirror holds a lot of memories but that is what those are is memories. They are Past. I have so much to look forward to. I have a place in this town. It is a place created and sanctified by God, and then of all the people in the world and on this planet He called ME to it. Now if I really believe that, and I do, I can only succeed. God is so good. He will walk with me through this. People will come and go but God will not leave me nor forsake me. He loves me so much with an everlasting love. No matter what people say, or even people who are not smart enough to form their own opinion and just believe what other people say. What God says is truth and I am going to not just believe what God says I am going to LIVE IT. And then I know God will be with me. He will cover me with His peace and I will radiate His joy. My day and my attitude just got a lot better. I love what happens when I put my trust in Him.