Pastor Rant = Pants

OK so you know what bums me out? When people don’t go to church on Sundays. Not because of the I have to go check my church card, or cause of the tithe bucket even because it is the right thing to do and God says go…I am being purely selfish here… It bums me out, like really bums me out, when people don’t come to church because I miss seeing them.

I know, I know, that is not very “holy” of me but I told you I was being selfish. You see, I take calls during the week, I go out and meet with people, I offer all of myself in ministering, and Sunday service is when I am ministered to. When I am in worship with my friends it ministers to my heart. When God delivers a message to His hungry kids I am blessed. When I am in an environment that is hungry for the presence of God, not just the “i showed up and punched my card,” but hungry for His presence and tuning our ears to heaven because at any time we know He is going to part the skies and sing over us, like audibly sing! It ministers to me in a way that I can’t explain. I know I am supposed to be ministering to God here and I am. There is just something about connecting to God with my friends around me connecting to the same God that fills me up. That is precious to me. It encourages me that maybe I do have a place in this world and it is with these people. When my friends don’t go I feel shunned from them. It speaks the opposite to me. I don’t have a place in this world and definitely not here.

I know that people are out of town on vacation and stuff like that but when you don’t come because you would rather… fill in the blank. Fish, hike, camp, swim, sit at home and watch TV, stuff you could do ANY other time, whatever, It hurts my feelings. I take it personally. Aside from weekly meetings, counseling, praying for people and all of that I am searching the heart of the father on your behalf looking for a word for you, looking for a blessing for you, or an encouragement or exhortation. Something to inspire and bless your week and give you courage to go out and face what lies ahead. Not only am I doing that for you because I love you. You expect me to do that. So even if you don’t show up for Sundays date with the father I am still expected to be there. I am expected to lay everything down and minister and don’t get me wrong I LOVE what I do, but I would really appreciate that when I need ministering to people would show up. When I need encouragement someone would be there to hold my hand. Like I said purely selfish I know but these are my pants.

While I am here pantsing myself, I also don’t like that Church, that is meeting with the body of believers that God placed me in to worship with and glorify Him with and welcome His presence with and minister to Him with, seems to be a recreational activity to some. I mean really, How would you like it if you had something and needed Gods help and he says “ya know what, I know you want me to minister to you but I would rather go camping instead. What…? This is a life or death situation… oh sorry I’m fishing that weekend and I need some me time. No…I don’t really feel like going to the place you called me to so I can meet with and minister to you today. It’s a holiday, maybe next week.” Or “I know I really need to get back to ministering to you but summer is only so long. I know it’s only a couple of hours on one day out of 7, but when I get to the heart of it you just aren’t my priority.”

God doesn’t turn His back on us maybe I am just feeling some of His hurt so He has someone to hurt with. I don’t know. We ALL have a job in church. Minister to the heart of the father. If you don’t go then we aren’t doing a good job at it and I want to give God the best. I give Him MY best but I want to offer Him THE best and I can’t do it on my own. Ugh! I want to see you there so that when I am having a crappy week your presence, and your smile, and your faith lifts me up and I am encouraged once again by whom God sends and we can minister to Him together. So I have two choices. Stay hurtable and honest, or close off my heart to everyone and become a solo island. I will stay hurtable and probably even stay hurt. I will continue to love people, even when i feel let down. I don’t want my heart to callous to the tenderness of Gods touch and I don’t ever want to be deaf to hearing Him sing over me, audibly sing, even if I am the only one.